Religious trauma refers to lasting harm to a person’s physical, mental, emotional, social, or spiritual health due to the beliefs or experiences they have had within a religious context. This kind of trauma is oftentimes complex because it generally involves a series of experiences and a system of harmful beliefs rather than a single traumatic event. People who have experienced religious trauma may struggle with low self-esteem, perfectionism, chronic anxiety, shame, depression, lack of trust in self, codependency, and sexual dysfunction.
There are a variety of religious beliefs and experiences that can have detrimental effects on people’s health and well-being. The following list is not meant to be exhaustive, but rather a compilation of some of the most common ways I have seen people negatively impacted by religion. I will mostly be referring to the Christian religion as this is where my personal experience lies.
Harmful Beliefs
-Inherent sinfulness: The belief that we are all inherently sinful by nature can be extremely damaging to self-esteem and self-worth.
-Biblical literalism: The belief that the bible is absolute truth can lead people to trust outside sources over themselves and may prohibit critical thinking skills from fully developing.
-Purity culture: The belief that sex outside of marriage is sinful can lead to delayed social milestones, sexual immaturity, anxiety around sex, and sexual dysfunction. The belief that women must practice modesty to be worthy can lead women to feel shame if they are not ‘modest enough’ and can help enable rape culture in the church as some men will blame women for tempting them into the act because of their immodesty.
-Traditional gender roles: The belief that men should lead and women should submit has caused many women to feel inferior to men and to question their capabilities and worth.
-Self-sacrifice: The belief that you should put others before yourself (as Jesus did) can lead to codependent and people-pleasing behaviors where people lack healthy boundaries with others and can hinder the development of a sense of self.
-The belief that God is omniscient and omnipresent can lead to chronic anxiety and self-consciousness.
Traumatic Experiences
-There are countless individuals who have been publicly shamed or ostracized from the church for doing something deemed sinful by the community (divorce, abortion, having a child out of wedlock, etc.). This kind of experience can lead to shame, isolation, feelings of worthlessness, depression, and suicidal ideation.
-Many churches talk often about hell and what could land you there, leading many people (especially children) to feel chronically stressed, anxious, and hyperaware of their every move. Some churches even put on a performance around Halloween (aptly named ‘Judgment House’) where audience members are taken scene by scene through a story where young people die in a tragic accident and are then judged to determine their fate in the afterlife. You are taken to ‘hell’ where the scene is dark and ominous and there are actors pretending to be demons. You end the performance in ‘heaven’ where there are church members dressed in all white waiting to pray with you, using lines like “If you were to die after leaving here tonight, do you know where you’d spend eternity?” to elicit emotional responses from the audience. Church members (including children) are encouraged to participate and invite their non-believer family members and friends to the performance.
-Many LGBTQ+ folks in the church have been told that they are living a sinful life. Some have been encouraged or forced to go to conversion therapy and to reject their identity. Others have been kicked out of positions in the church or pushed out of the church entirely because of their identity. This experience of marginalization and stigmatization can result in low self-worth, an inability to express oneself authentically, an inability to explore one’s sexuality, and sometimes suicide.
-Sermons about tithing being a demonstration of your trust in God can be very manipulative and can influence people to put themselves through financial hardship to prove their faith or to avoid feeling guilty about not tithing.
Questions and Concerns
When you are immersed in religion, it can be very difficult to challenge religious thought or religious authorities because you are taught to distrust yourself since you are of a ‘sinful nature’. You are taught to trust the bible and the people who are interpreting the bible for you. You are encouraged to put aside doubt and have faith rather than critical thinking. This can cause religious people to feel they can’t question or challenge what’s happening within the church. Though they may be able to recognize that some of these beliefs and experiences are damaging, they may not feel they are able to challenge the authorities on them.
When people do begin to challenge religious beliefs and authorities, it can feel very destabilizing. It’s common to feel confused and unanchored as old ways of thinking are shed and a new belief system and identity is built. Some people can go through the process of deconstructing their beliefs and remain religious, while others feel leaving the religion is an imperative part of their healing. Leaving a religion can be a very difficult decision to make, though, as it often comes with the loss of community and identity. A person who leaves their religion may lose friends and loved ones (or at the very least have their relationships altered drastically) as it can be difficult for people who are still part of the religion to handle the way these doubts and questions challenge their own beliefs. This can lead to feeling isolated and alone as you question your core beliefs and try on new ways of thinking.
Recovering From Religious Trauma
Following are some practical steps to work towards healing from the effects of religious trauma:
-Grow your critical thinking skills: Ask all the questions, get as many different viewpoints as possible, learn/read/expose yourself to different ideas, analyze and reflect on the information you gather.
-Learn to trust yourself: Observe and reflect on the feelings and physical sensations that come up in your body, listen to gut feelings, reflect on times when your intuition proved to be right, remind yourself that nobody does life perfectly and that we learn through experience.
-Set boundaries in relationships: Identify relationships where you feel you betray or overextend yourself, determine how you want to feel in those relationships and what parts of yourself you need to preserve to make that happen, communicate directly and be firm with your boundary.
-Challenge black and white thinking: Remind yourself that there are rarely only two options in a given situation, seek out nuance everywhere you can, challenge yourself to see how many different options/alternatives there possibly could be.
-Explore who you are and what you believe: Journal, seek out new experiences, talk to new people, ask questions, go to therapy, observe and reflect on your reactions to new people and experiences.
-Find healthy supports: Seek out communities that are accepting of self-exploration, look into secular groups or groups for people recovering from religion, find a therapist who understands religious trauma.